...2 months?

I haven't been writing much and not like it really matters. Not to anyone really who reads this, at least. Not writing has affected me greatly. I am on a strange hiatus. I wouldn't classify it as writers block. Lately, Ive felt like I don't have much to say. It's making a shit-filled snow ball out of my school work. I'm actually starving for conversation but my contacts have fallen short. And I have drown in the "I whine about my life and expect people to care because it's LiveJournal" waters.

So, with all the knowledge I've gained and lost over the past 2 months I'm packing my bags, notebook, and pencil and taking a hike. I'll be starting a blog soon, hopefully independent. And I will expel and discuss my brimming brain to whomever wants to listen. But it will not involve certain personal aspects. If you want to know then ask. I will deem if the question is valid.

Topics will include:
Horticulture
Gaff artistry
Volcanoes
Sea life
Smut literature
Film
Directors
Geology
Beverages
Bad luck
Books
Comics
Cryptozoology
Crafts
Tutorials
and general debauchery

I'll post a link on here when it materializes.

Take care, to whomever reads this.

</div>

wow. fucking wow.

I talked to a female friend for an hour and a half on the phone. I haven't had a girl to chat with in.....well forever. I also put in an application for my kitty. Sanchez didn't believe me that Maine Coons can grow so big!

Then we found

Explaining my interests on my profile. I found this in my last journal. I imported all of the entries from dirt_merchant.

migrating geese
The change of the seasons has always been very important to me physically and mentally. When I hear Canadian geese flying south it awakens reminiscent childhood memories that winter is coming. I look up at them and point just like a 5 year old. It's also one of my favorite sounds tied to when I last lived with my father. I suppose I always wanted to go somewhere else every year at the same time.

tattoos
I have some, I would like to get more. I like the idea of changing your body forever. I also feel a certain sense of control when I get inked. It's comparable to what I've read about young people having eating disorders or cutting. It may start out as an attempt to contour their bodies but it is actually an attempt to control their life or a situation they may be going through.
I have an androgynous being on an IV pole with a gas mask on my calve, that I got when I turned 23. Beautiful experience. It marked the end and beginning of something completely different in my life. My next endeavor that need to come soon or will loose it's meaning will be 2 skeletons buried in the ground (cut away picture) and above ground is a mushroom cloud.

scrapbooks
I'm obsessed with tangible memories. I guess it would be a harsh fear of losing my memory one day that's to blame. Sometimes I feel as though my memories are all I am. So, I put them down on paper, in journals(I should actually count them sometime), and in sculpture form. I also can put my own spin on the happenings that are in my scrapbooks. Then again sometimes I just add interests to see what I can derive inspiration from on Lj. hehehe

red eared slider turtles
I was never really interested in reptiles until last xmas. My boyfriend bought me a tiny chinatown turtle from a man on the subway. They are extremely popular in Philly and usually die very early due to people not knowing how to take care of them. I came home and did days and days worth of research on what they need to be happy. I found out that the breed is very expensive to take care of. But I wouldn't give up my Boris for anything. He'll be a year old in the end of November and went from about the size of a walnut to the size of my palm.

field guides
I love field guides. Especially location specific botanical guides. I think their beautiful to look at and I'd like to think I could live like a savage if I wanted to and identify all of the plants. I also like to copy them and use them in my collages.

extreme weather
Extreme weather scares the piss out of me. It also fascinates me to no end. I've lived through a hurricane and canoed through it's eye. Nothing makes me feel smaller and insignificant then it. We live in the world and still cannot change or own it.

Early to bed (well not really), early to rise, makes a *woman* healthy, wealthy and wise. Thank you Benny Boy! Yup, I made it to the Burnell Building this morning by 9am for my mini orientation and to register for my classes. I'm a fucking student now! I low balled my math and didn't do as badly as I thought on my assessment test.

So, I'm taking:
English 101
Primary Algebra 017 (blah)
Cultural Anthropology
Environmental Conservation

Wo0t!

Then it was off to Center City to buy some ChinaTown goodies. But not before some 'The Dutch Eatin' Place'  fries. Oh yes, and ground turkey, 3lbs for 7 bucks from The Terminal!

Then home. To pet a Quee and snooze on the couch. I spoke to my father on the phone. He's in San Fran this week on business. Other then the time difference he sounded quite excited about my school endeavors. Tomorrow is my stepmoms birfday. I hope her present gets there by Saturday.

I met Sanchez's old friend from work, Joe Blow, or something like that. Cricket let him pet her belly on the stoop out front. I washed some clothes and made a bowl of my chunky miso soup and now I'm still quaking with energy and I should go to bed.

I like puppets, you should too after watching this video:


.
.
.
.
God, Thank you for Genesis. Amen.

Charlton Heston died yesterday, age 84.   

"We fear death, we shudder at life's instability, we grieve to see the flowers wilt again and again, and the leaves fall, and in our hearts we know that we, too, are transitory and will soon disappear. When artists create pictures and thinkers search for laws and formulate thoughts, it is in order to salvage something from the great dance of death, to make something that lasts longer than we do."
--Hermann Hesse (1877 – 1962) from his book "Narcissus and Goldmund"

Where the hell did my willpower go?

My dearest friend Ricky will be here in a few hours. The place still looks like crap even after some 4am curtain hanging. I need to be cleaning. Or at least showering. Instead I'm jerking around on LJ. Boo. Maybe another bowl will help.

I think I am going to buy this tote and use it as a new purse.



And shoes. This girl needs some shoes. Well, I need alot of things.

Sanchez is going to pull my hair our strand by strand but I plan on painting the bedroom again. Ha! This print is going on the wall for sure.



I love Nate Duval.


The end. 

I noticed today that the ring finger on my left hand has a blister forming. Right where I adorn myself with my silver commitment to Sanchez. That can't be a good sign. Maybe it's happening from a lack of passion. Maybe it's the restraint I feel brought on by despair. Yeah, despair, that's a good word to describe it. Yeah, yeah, the saddest girl in Philadelphia...

My father presented me with a proposition to go to school and he would pay my half of the bills. I suppose a sheepskin is something I could never loose, no one could take it away from me. I'm excited about the possibility of going to school. Having a career(of sorts). Not being poor. I don't even have enough money to buy myself shampoo.

The only thing is, Ikea informed me today, after almost a year of busting my ass, that I am going full time. Health benny's for me! The catch? I have to keep my availability open. So, what I've worked hard for would get yanked if I went to school. Hrmm, sounds like I'm going to get everything done before having to give up insurance and then get another job. I hate Ikea anyway.

Sanchez found me an iPod shuffle on the ground on Saturday. It works. Now I need some new music. What are you listening to right now? Tell me where I can find some good download sites. Yes.

and I got done........squat. Although I started the application process for a reprographics company downtown. We'll see what happens with that.


I found this on YouTube-a-gogo. I like depressing music and, even though it's not the official video, some of the imagery is quaint.


I thought about Sanchez alot today. And listened to Regina Spektor's 'Us' on repeat for a little while.




All time low:
Waiting for the bus in the rain.
Holes in the only pair of work pants I have.
Broken under wire in my bra.
Just got finished working for less then what McDonalds would start at.
Worrying about putting 12 dollars into my checking account so the rent won't bounce.

You think I exaggerate.

And after my stint today I'm taking a cleaning vacation. I have been setting the clock at hour intervals and allowing myself a break when the alarm goes off. The larger rooms will take longer. I should be being paid for this shit.

I'm back, but don't tell anyone.

Today I went into the city for the first time since I left More Than. I don't miss the stagnant air of the subway platform. I don't miss everything smelling like piss. I don't miss thousands of people bustling through the streets.

I did go to Redding Terminal. I bought some meat at the market and they tied it up with butcher's paper and string. How nostalgic.

Things aren't getting any better.

I don't know what to say...

Drew Carey is calling people 'buddy' and 'man' on The Price's Right.

I don't like change!
frustrated

Sunday morning I went outside with the cat, my normal, early routine. And it was dead quiet. No cars on the street, no planes, not even a piece of trash blowing in the alley. It was nice. Since then it's been strange working conditions, irritability at home about my parents coming, general restlessness. I have quite a bit of cleaning to do and I often feel like I'm not getting any help from the household. If I could teach the turtle to clean his own tank I would. Many tasks remain to be finished but I have tomorrow off and will do what it takes. This house still doesn't feel like it's mine. And I'm not sure what will change that. It's possible that cleaning and organization will help. Philadelphia still doesn't feel like my city. The soil here hasn't warmed to my roots yet.

Saturday my father and step-mother will be here until Sunday night. We (more me only, I don't think S cares in the least) are having them over for brunch at our place on Sunday. Last night I scoured the internets looking for brunchy type things they would eat and I could, more importantly, could prepare/cook. I came up with these:

Fresh Fruit Salad with Honey Vanilla Yogurt

 2 cups plain yogurt

2 tablespoons good honey

1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

Seeds scraped from 1/2 vanilla bean, optional

1/2 orange, juiced

1 banana, sliced

1/2 pint fresh blueberries

1/2 pint fresh raspberries

1 pint fresh strawberries, hulled and cut in half

1 bunch seedless green grapes, halved

 
Combine the yogurt, honey, vanilla extract, and vanilla bean seeds in a bowl and set aside. Combine the orange juice and banana slices in a separate bowl. Add the berries and grapes and gently mix the fruit mixture together. Spoon the fruit into serving bowls and top with the yogurt.

and

Asparagus, Canadian Bacon, and Cheese Frittata

5 large eggs

4 tablespoons freshly grated Parmesan

2 tablespoons milk

1/4 teaspoon freshly grated lemon zest

1 teaspoon kosher salt

Freshly ground black pepper

1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil

4 ounces medium asparagus stalks (about 8), woody stems trimmed, cut into 1/2-inch pieces

4 medium slices Canadian bacon (about 2 ounces), coarsely chopped

 
Position an oven rack in the upper part of the oven and preheat the broiler. Whisk the eggs, 3 tablespoons of the cheese, the milk, lemon zest, salt, and pepper to taste together in a bowl.

 
Heat the olive oil in an 8-inch nonstick skillet over medium heat. Add the asparagus and Canadian bacon, and cook until the asparagus is crisp-tender, about 4 minutes. Reduce heat to low, pour the egg mixture into the skillet, stirring gently to distribute the fillings evenly. Cover, and cook until the bottom sets, but does not get too brown, about 9 minutes. Remove the cover, scatter the remaining 1 tablespoon of cheese over the surface. Run the frittata under the broiler until the top sets and browns slightly, about 1 minute. Set aside for about 5 minutes before unmolding. Slip the frittata out of the pan onto a cutting board, cut into wedges. Serve warm or room temperature.

And as a little appetizer I'm going to serve crisprolls with marmelade, cheese, and salmon paté.


Hopefully that goes over well.


Then on that following Monday my mom and step-father are coming up to stay with us until Thursday. It's like parental over load! But I haven't seen either of them in months and I miss the way my mom smells (like Jessica McClintock perfume and mom). She plans on making a huge pot of spaghetti sauce and meatballs. I plan on drinking many mamosas with her.

I am dreading going to work today. Last night I thought the evening was going fine until a little girl whom bought 5 bucks worth of stuff comes back to my register and says she gave me a 20$ bill and I didn't give her change. So, of course I have to count out my drawer and see if I'm exact or $15 over.

I count my drawer and write down everything I have. Ya know, $210 in fives, $4.00 in nickles, etc.

It's $70 short!

So, I count it again and compare my numbers to what I had before. Almost the same.

I hope I don't get fired. I'll probably get written up and possibly suspended.

.
.
.
I have the worst luck.


In other news...Let the cleaning begin! S and I have been building cities of garbage all over the house lately because we are too tired to clean. I have off tomorrow and will start the elimination. My father and step-mother will be here on the 22nd & 23rd of Sept. Then my mom and step-father shortly there after. Then in October I want to have our house warming party.

There is so much I need to get done! Breathe and tell myself it's not overwhelming. Do not curl up in the fetal position and explode!